While waiting for the little feet

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Salam,

My sisters! Hello! Yup, still waiting for the little feet to arrive...Anytime soon, insyaAllah. Probably somewhere around end of this week or the next. *can't wait!*

I'm at my mum's now, counting on the days while my son is away on a camping trip, and my husband is at home continue on his work. They are only a phone call away, if I'm all ready to go in labour. Since our house is like 75km away from the nearest hospital, we decided that I should stay at my mum's which is in the city. A more convenient option, for any emergency cases *touchwood*. 

I started to have contraction last friday at 2 AM when I felt a sudden 'menstrual' pain, backache (which my mum had specifically said "come by when you start to have backache"). All of us, including my sleepy step son quickly pack our bags, jump onto our car and drove 40 minutes to my mum's house. I really thought I was going through labour. After inconsistent contraction, (labor signs include consistent contraction which get nearer by the hour), we concluded that it was just a false labour. Since I was only 36 weeks (short 1 week to fullterm of 37 weeks), we all decided that I should stay at my mum's and stay put, while my husband and his son drive back home and continue with work and school.

It's been days and the mild contraction has been very inconsistent, but i do feel my tummy getting bigger and tighter by the days and my feet is getting all tired and heavy. I can't really do much, but walking around and up and down the house, helping my mum with what ever things I can get my hands on. She's been busy sewing baby blankets and etc for me and my sister in law (who is also pregnant), remnant of pretty cloth was everywhere for her patchwork projects. As I was laying like a whale counting on the seconds before I go on labour, I had the sudden urge one day, to make baby plushies. I like to remind myself that I once made a statement that I could not save my own self if my life depend on me sewing. I could do any housework BUT sewing. I remember once my step son asked me to help him sew his school badge on his school shirt, it took me 3 hours of sweating and trembling trying to get the badge sewn decently...*barely* I cringed on the outcome. He tried to look at my *skills* while I was trying to sew the badge on, I end up shoo-ing him off because I can't handle the pressure of being observed...*ha-ha*

BUT, probably driven by the fact that I'm all wired with weird hormones, I decided to search on youtube and see if I could get my hands on EASY-TO-MAKE plushies. and I stumbled on something I was confident enough to make. So, with the step by step video on my laptop, my mum's sewing kit and leftover cloth, a couple of buttons and stuffies- I whipped myself into a teddy plush toy maker for the past 2 days. 

And Voila! my child now has a pillow/plushies/soft toy that was made by yours truly...gotta love this weird hormone~ never in a million years do I find myself sewing...


not to shabby...in a quirky-weird-monsterlike-rustic kind of way *grin*

Love+Peace,

H

Another Pregnancy Post: my rainbows

salam,

I'm gaining strength Alhamdulillah, through one day at a time. Honestly, I was definitely praying to God for the blessing of having my own child, truth be told, and I can't tell you how grateful I am when my prayer was answered. As I go through it, I started to doubt my self...(it's okay, judge me all you want). I got scared since I struggle with my step son, the noise started to play in my head, "can i really do this?", "Did I asked something that I couldn't handle?", and it sure did not come easy since 'LIFE' goes on..and there's up's and down's. Challenges and test comes from left and right. I broke down way too much that I couldn't understand it. The more I try to let it out, the more I was judged. Like it was 'unaccepted' for anyone to go through vulnerability. So most of the time, I keep it in. And then, the more I keep it in, the more it eats me up inside. The painful part was, I was aware of all of this, and I couldn't help myself. 

Then I started to think back about the blessings, the prayer that was answered, the child I'm bearing...My own transition for being a mother. The more I keep myself in this suffering, the more I'm being selfish. I'm harming my own child, every time I let myself 'thinking' I 'needed' to suffer. As I started to read, and meditate again, trying to keep my mind 'in control', Alhamdulillah, I'm starting to see my little rainbow. We all forget, especially going through 'crazy' times, that at the end of the day, when we're alone on earth (when no one but yourself can help you), we forgot about 'The One'. At least, I know I did. It took me, several breakdown, painful loneliness, secret worries, I even hide myself under a bed (!) because I just wanted to disappear from everything, -to find out I didn't even ask help from the 'Bigger' Power. I pray to God everyday, but sometimes, it takes more than a thought to find your spirit and restore it strength. As my mind quiet down, as I let go negativity like wind passes through, and keep telling myself 'I don't need to explain myself to anyone', I find myself finding more and more strength. All those time I thought I couldn't help myself, true enough sometimes I'm not strong enough to help myself. We all need a 'higher' energy to give us more strength. It's only after His help, that anyone else could (including ourselves) reach out and give the extra hand.

My husband has been so patient with me throughout these 'difficult' episodes, that I have nothing but greater respect for him. He's been accepting me, without judgement, and continue to support me without pushing me towards any direction that I don't feel like going. I have the tendency to 'please' people, but with him...he never seemed to 'push' me, regardless how idiotic my decision is, he gets my intention...and it is always easier to communicate when it comes to him. So sayang, May God bless you for being who you are, even after all the things 'people' say...

That being said, I would like to remind myself here of all the rainbows that I have in my life right now;

1. Being bless with a baby in my belly

2. Not to have nausea/morning sickness/feet cramps/etc & etc of long list of pregnancy hiccups. 

3. Having a supportive mother. and entering to motherhood, brought another level of respect for my mama.

4. Finally having great good night sleep...*sigh*

5. Loving husband, I shouldn't say more...

6. Dalai Lama...(book review coming your way!-this book helped me upon everything else I'm doing)

7. Getting to open the window, and to have fresh air hits my face every single day. I live in such beautiful place, I still can't believe it. 

* Upon a lot of things I'm thankful for, I'll stop at 7 for the 7 colours of the rainbow..LOL..

Alhamdulillah...

Mushaboom by Feist

"Mushaboom" is about a simple life in a small town, and taking the time to enjoy life. It contrasts the somewhat melancholy state of the singer's present situation ("It may be years until the day / my dreams will match up with my pay")-source wikipedia


Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Soldddddddddddddddd


H Note: One of my favourite song and singer, this song particularly is like my life right now, and it's uppity beat cute melody seems fitting for a baby tune...18 weeks means my baby had developed hearing ability, how little feet love feist. :)

Let's Have Some Shirley Temple and Be Optimistic

How to Be Optimistic

by Remez Sasson
Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Do you expect the best or the worst to happen?
Being an optimist does not mean that you are out of touch with reality, ignoring difficulties and obstacles and behaving in a naive way.
Being an optimist means that you hope and expect events and plans to turn out well, and that you look with a smile on the future.
It is important to be a balanced optimist, not pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to being impractical, making poor decisions and letting people ridicule or take advantage of you. A balanced optimist looks at reality, acknowledge difficulties and obstacles, but is not discouraged by them. A balanced optimist can see the good and the bad, but at the same time expects success and puts forth effort to make things turn out well.
Being optimistic doesn't mean waiting for things to happen by themselves. It means expecting the best, believing that the best will happen, but at the same time making decisions, following them, acting and making things happen.
Why be an optimist? Because optimism keeps you motivated and energetic, pursuing what you want with ambition, confidence and happiness. It helps you focus on your vision, and makes everyday a happy day.
How can you be optimistic and keep holding this attitude?
Don't get angry with yourself if you find yourself feeling pessimistic. Acknowledge that it is only natural to feel pessimistic at times, when life is boring or when you encounter difficulties or hardships.

Acknowledge that changing your mental attitude takes time, so be patient.

Keep a list of motivational and inspiring quotes handy, and read them several times a day.

At least once a day listen to music, your favorite songs or some inspiring or relaxing music.

Exercise your body often and regularly.

At least once a day do something that makes you happy and satisfied. This can be anything, even some minor activity or action like eating something you love, watching a favorite T.V. program, reading or talking to a friend.

Try to smile more often.

Take more care of your appearance and how you dress. When you look good you will feel more confident and positive.

Endeavor to see the good in every situation.

Have enough sleep at night. When don't sleep enough or don't sleep well you can get moody, unhappy and impatient. Good sleep will make you more energetic, alive, optimistic and feeling good.

If you can, avoid the company of negative

Learn to accept the past, leave it behind and continue to better things. Wallowing in the past creates unhappiness and lack of optimism.


An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; a pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.
Winston Churchill
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.
Lucille Ball

Everyday is a New Day

Beautiful day
Watching you as you awake
Morning stars in your eyes
Your hand in mine

The sky is lit up
Day will be richer than night
So dont think of yesterday
Its here and now

(Chorus)
Its a, its a, its a...new day
Its a, its a, its a...new day

The beauty of you
Gives me my fortitude
Stronger than any dark cloud
Screaming out loud, hey, hey

The sky is lit up
Day will be richer than night
So dont think of yesterday
Its here and now

Movie Recommendation: The Social Network

Salam,

I love watching and reading stories, and it explains why I love to read blog, read books and watch movie to even write about it. I find there's similar memories in many stories and how we all somehow look for trails to relate. Sometimes we don't have the connection, but when you speak of emotion, we really don't need to have the same experience to feel it. One way or another we understood it, we fell in love, we got our heart broken, we feel betrayed, the times we let ourselves be a fool and etc and etc. There a billion of possibilities to feel that emotion, and there's billion stories that goes talking about it. So my appreciation of movies is a bit sometimes complicated, some might call me a 'romantic' person for needing to go to deep into sensing a movie. But hey, everyone has their thing...

When I went to my mum's last week, the Golden Globe was on, and they were giving the award to the best picture award. The nominee was 'Black Swan', 'The Fighter', 'Inception', 'The King's Speech' and 'The Social Network'. Obviously, 'The Inception' blew my mind away. I even surpassed it after 'The Matrix'. It's a very smart movie, I think. The movie impresses me. So when I saw a story about 'facebook' won, I got curious. Better than Inception? wow...must be good. How could a non-state of the art-CGI-packed, actually impressed the HFPA? So I watched it. and to say the least, it's VERY recommended.

If I were to say it in a technical aspect, it was not as shabby as any another non-CGI movies. The cinematography and shots was rather beautiful, and the storyline was quick and straight the point. Which i like. Of course, there's cliche plots here and there, but nothing dragged, so to me it was acceptable. As for the story? some might say it is quite an expectation of another 'bill-gates'/'elite law suit story'/'story friendship-betrayal'....heck, it's all that roll into one. some just do it for the money, some do it for power, some do it for fun....and some just do it to impress some 'girl'. nothing complicated, and nothing was out of expectation either...but not lame or cliche either. Soundtracks and score was also very smart. So I applauded for their win, and the fact that the screenplay, and the director tell a very nice story. If it were a book, I would enjoy closing it at the end.

and yes, it's about facebook...*groan* ahahaha

Love+Peace,

H

Genesis By Ramos David

Movie Recommendation:The Book of Eli

Salam,
I love this movie for the whole idea of how the world had become so destraught in despair that the only valuable thing that could really save the human kind and their soul is FAITH. This is a journey of a man who walked for 31 years in a mission of protecting the 'most' valuable book that could restore man's faith  in life by God's word.

Powerful Video: The Hugging Saint

Salam,
I was introduced today to a VERY powerful video by my sister in law. We were as usual, were exchanging thoughts and share opinions about all the things that is going on with our life, about awareness...acceptance...love...fear and Amma was brought up. How she's known as a 'Hugging Saint'. I know, there's a lot of 'hug a person'/'give a hug' campaign going on worldwide...but watching this video brought tears (sobbing~) to my eyes. It's absolutely amazing how a HUMANBEING, could share sincere unconditional and undivided love to countless people..and share time regardless of differences. It struck me so deep inside how she said that 'Love does not need effort' (or something like that), because to be honest we often feel like we need to put effort and struggle and think it is 'Love'. At least at certain time, i do...I confused myself thinking that i'm putting effort in the name of 'Love', when truth is LOVE comes from within and it will overflow naturally.

Unconditional Love is VERY powerful and we all possess this 'power'. Amma is potraying that we all can LOVE crossing the border of countries, race, and religion.



More about Amma via wikipedia HERE

Just The Way You Are by Kina Grannis

Salam,
When a man loves you, he would treat you with respect without you demanding them...
When a man loves you, he would speak to you even the room is filled with other women...
When a man loves you, he would say only beautiful things and everything that you're worth...
When a man loves you, he appreciates the little things you do

You would give up everything for the person you love,
but if the person love you more, he wouldn't want you to give up anything...

This post of for those who thinks they need to suffer for love...
*hugs* God will meet you your soulmate, and he would be better than the ones before.
Give your Love to God, and God will shower you with more...



p/s: Abusive relationship is not merely physical, but also mentally as well. Please be aware of this.

Love+Peace,
H

Read more here for related issue:
http://blockspotted.blogspot.com/2010/09/women-conversation.html

Food Movies

Salam,
Being a hungry shamoo (i mean, pregnant lady), I've spent my most entire day going through food pictures and recipe book. I don't know why, maybe i'm indulging myself...LOL. And yesterday, i spent the entire day going through movies with in it. I saw 'SUPER SIZE ME' which is a documentary of a man, who tried to go on a McDiet for 30 days, with nothing but 3 meals a day of McDonald's and risk his own health in this experiment about fast food and it's effect on our body. (this didn't turn out so good to me, since i'm still craving for meat and burgers. We end up taking a trip to McDonald's because the Big Mac was too tempting for me. I didn't feel too guilty about it though since i eat fastfood in once in a blue moon)




Then, i bumped to 'Babette's Feast'...which is amazing. I find it very symbolic, and heartwarming. The whole detail on the dinner...is mouthwatering and exquisite. You can actually find the whole movie on youtube. Including the english subtitle. I love this movie...





Then, I stumbled to this funny and inspiring movie. A japanese movie which mainly evolve around food and how food plays a significant role in one's life in a very suprising way...Also mouthwatering, but i find it cute and light hearted. I like this one too... it reminds me a lot of my sister, since she's always dreaming of opening her own restaurant. You can also find the whole movie in youtube.

Marie Laforêt - Мon amour mon ami

Salam,
I'm jumping for joy (not literally-but i'm doing cartwheel inside) for my husband...he's taking me to KL for my craving although he hates travelling to the city, and the fact he hates city crowds. So, i'm singing this cute song for him for his endless attempts in making me happy... thank you sayang~!

For english translation of the lyrics: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/mon-amour-mom-ami-my-love-my-friend.html

Surah Maryam (19) As-Sudais

Stacie Orrico - So Simple

Educating the Whole Child by Joseph Chilton Pearce

Salam,
I am currently TRYING (i'm not too sure why, but i've been having difficulties in reading, I can't seem to focus) to read Magical Child by Joseph Pearce. I really really want to read his book, since i was highly recommended to read his book, if i were to hope in having a 'magical' child. BUT, Due to this current 'difficulties' i am forced to look for videos and audio of his talk. Alhamdulillah, I found this! this video talks about how a mother's emotion could effect the growth of the child's brain, which i find very interesting. More reason for me to stay 'happy' & 'cheery'. Although i have to say, hormones & mood swings is really making it quite tough...Think of happy thoughts...think of happy thoughts...

p/s: I am mostly happy when i'm reading, but since i couldn't do much reading (this baffles me!), i'm torn between sleeping entire day or...nope, just sleeping...LOL

SubhanAllah:Suprise ME!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Salam,

To those who think that i'm away on a camping trip, that trip didn't happen. Apparently, i was feeling very sluggish since last week. I was sleepy and fatigue (and most time lazy) in the afternoon. We were spending our Eid Adha at my mother in law's house when i was down with a headache and bad appetite. My sister in laws were making all joking comments that i could possibly be pregnant, along with my other sister in law. Due to my last late period incident last couple of months, i decided not to get excited about all the jokes, and the fact that i was late, make it even harder to contained the excitement. One of my sister in law (my husband's elder sister) straight up and told me that i am positively pregnant. She insist that she was right, since in fact she already have 5 children of her own-which makes her an 'expert'. Still, me and my husband decided to keep it cool and played along with everyone's excitement.

Being over a week late, we decided to go ahead and check ourselves with a home pregnancy test. I bought 2 just in case (and just to be sure). The first one, i didn't even blinked and saw 2  pink lines appearing out of nowhere. I woke up extra early (and the fact i really needed to pee-helps :early morning urine is best to check for pregnancy f.y.i), just to be extra sure. I wasn't convinced though, i try to keep my excitement on the down low. (probably a faulty test kit- i thought) I decided to try again the next day. Me and my husband, go along with our life cooly and nonchalantly, trying our best not to get extra excited with the suspence. The next day, i woke up early again and this time, 2 pink lines appear again, as quick as you can say 'am i pregnant?'. I blinked my eyes in disbelieve. I have 2 sticks in my hand, and i look at it "could this be real? am i really pregnant?"

So, as a sceptic i am, we decided to visit our local village clinic. But this time, instead of testing for my pregnancy, they went straight on giving me a check-up for the red-mother book (red book: Malaysian government procedure for pregnant-mothers monthly checkups, which could be done in any clinic nationwide. Helps with information for labour-if we wish to get it deliever in a government hospital). The nurse didn't even check if i was pregnant. She asked if i had my own pregnancy test. I told her, yes, twice. Which made her laugh, "I think its a sure thing, confirmed. If you have done it twice", and proceed with taking my blood sample, blood pressure, etc. I went home, with a month supply of pregnancy suppliment, and still sceptic if i was pregnant.

I decided, i should get myself scanned, so i can be sure myself that there is something growing inside of me. So, today that what we did. We drove 40 minutes to the nearest city, to a clinic which have ultrasound scanning service, and get my tummy scanned. And there it was. A round blot just formed itself in my womb. My baby, InsyaAllah. The doctor told me that i am 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and i'll be due in July 2011. My mum and family are already excited about my long anticipation & dua. I can finally grasp the fact that i am now, finally, pregnant. Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...And that my friends, is the story of how i found out that i am now, pregnant.

Love+Peace,
H

Movie Recommendation: Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain

Salam,
This movie happens to be one of the movie that i never get tired of. It has these whimsical feel, almost animated life of a young women who feels she was destined to help to change the life of the people around her. Although, she was into a very nice suprise in her own. I love the soundtrack, the characters and the cinematography. We could never guess destiny...

Just Women & Guitars

Salam,
Becky,  here's more of female singer/songwriter/guitarist among of my favorite. I have already featured KT Tunstall & Feist from my previous post. I hope you enjoy them. :)


This is "Building a Mystery" by Sarah Mclachlan. Been a fan since childhood.


This is "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman. I grew up, thinking she was a man~


I grew up, listening to Jewel on my Discman (yes, we didn't have ipod at the time)


This is Zee Avi, a local Malaysian singer & songwriter who makes great music which reminds me of the good old days.


Yuna here, also Malaysian singer & songwriter, comfortable singing with her hijjab on.

p/s: its rather obvious that i'm into blues, rock&roll, quirky evergreen feel, jazz fusion type of music.

Feist - Secret Heart (Paris)

Salam, 

I have a soft spot for female singer who plays guitar; joan jett, janis joplin, sarah mclachlan, KT tunstall, to name a few and not to forget one of my favorite of all, is feist. She has this quirky personality which i love, and her music is very original along with her poetic lyrics. Oh and did i mention she's a very good guitar player? 

Enjoy,

Lyrics: Secret Heart by Feist

Secret heart

What are you made of

What are you so afraid of

Could it be

Three simple words

Or the fear of being overheard

What's wrong

Let em' in on your secret heart

Secret Heart

Why so mysterious

Why so sacred

Why so serious

Maybe you're

Just acting tough

Maybe you're just not man enough

What's wrong

Let em' in on your secret heart

This very secret

That you're trying to conceal

Is the very same one

That You're dying to reveal

Go tell him how you feel

Secret heart come out and share it

This loneliness, few can bear it

Could it have something to do with

Admitting that you just can't go through it alone?

Let em' in on your secret heart

This very secret

That you're trying to conceal

Is the very same one

That you're dying to reveal

Go tell him how you feel

This very secret heart

Go out and share it

This very secret heart

Listen to This: Purification Of The Heart by Hamza Yusuf