Salam,
Auji just doze off, so i'll try to be quick and spill out what happen on his birthday...*pause, auji moved...wait...* okay, VERY quickly now...
2nd July 2011- 1030pm: chatting with my family member at the dining table, catching up since my younger just arrived from Dubai for her short summer break.
2nd July 2011- 11pm: Went to the toilet to discover i had started staining my panties..a little drop of blood...first sign! Decided to sleep it off. Slept on the couch with Sarah, my niece as I cuddled her to sleep
3rd July 2011- 730am: waking up with strong contractions, walk into my sister's room and announce that i have a feeling today is the day...
3rd July 2011- 8am: called my husband as my contraction was more regular..took a bath, had some breakfast, 2dates..a piece of chocolate, and a glass of milk.
3rd July 2011- 9am: laying down while focusing on the strong contraction...it was almost meditation like...focusing on being positive and letting it all go for Him to take charge..
3rd July 2011- 10am: husband arrived, continued chatting in the living room trying to procrastinate from being too panicky...
3rd July 2011- 11am: contraction started to get stronger and the gaps of each contraction are shorter...decided its time to walk into the hospital. Contractions are still strong, but bearable.
3rd July 2011- 1230: screenng procedure, with heart beat with Dr Ronnie, a training doctor. Accidently forgotten to attach the IV insert thingy on my vein, after takinh my blood on my right hand, so i had to toughen up to be punctured on my left hand...blergh...ahaha
3rd July 2011- 130pm: they decided to check how much i have dilated...this male doctor squeezing his fingers and moving it around me, checking rather ignorantly how it hurts. I almost asked if he was doing this job for the job or to help people...but i calm myself, and tried to stay positive. Turns out i was already dilated 5cm...I was assigned to a room, but not after waiting for 2 hours...it is a government hospital after all
3rd July 2011- 330pm: was in labor room and getting prepped up for the assigned doctor, he walked in...yes another male doctor...prepping up, without addressing me, without looking at me, trying to spread me open. I had to asked what's going on...he announced, with gloves on, that he's breaking my water...before i could say anything, his hands were already inside me, digging me, like he's gutting a chicken, breaking my water. He was so rough, again, i almost asked him if he like his job. By the time he was finish, the baby heart monitor was loose..we couldnt hear the baby's heartbeat...he looked at me angrily and asked if i had pushed...i looked at him in confusion...he left the room, a nurse came in, and i decided that i don't need someone negative in my labour room. I told her, i want another doctor, or a female nurse...who have the least tehe slightest idea how a women's body hurt during labor.
3rd July 2011- 4pm: husband walks in after the nurse walk out. Another nurse walk in and offer me a pain relief gas, by my bed...and warned me that its going to hurt now as we wait for a full dilation. And as i refused, a big painful wave swept over my body that i wish that i would just die then...i looked at the gas, tempted...sadly.
3rd July 2011- 0405pm: the nurse saw how much pain i was in, she decided to help me to start pushing...before i knew it, i was fully aware that i was pushing...and the nurse said, the top of baby's head already showing...she showed my husband...and my husband being there, helped me gain my energy back.
3rd July 2011- 0408pm: I was pushing again, a very short one, and suck all my energy and try another strong push...before i knew it, i fet a huuuge relief, and i knew my baby was out...Alhamdullillah...3 minutes later. He was out at 0411pm...a beauiful...boy
Saadiah, the nurse, the midwife who helped me ever so gently was God sent and i was blessed with a natural birth, almost gentle in a hostile and sterile hospital...I shut off any expectation and try to be fully aware for all of it, focusing on surrender, and praying for Gods mercy...SubhanAllah...looking at my baby boy in my hand as the nurse place him on my chest, was very surreal...I was in disbelieve, and overwhelmed at the same time...
Love+peace,
H
3 comments:
SubhanAllah, I'm happy that the last part of your birthing experience was so good and peaceful... but the first two doctors?! Make me so angry! I realize doctors have to learn (for the first one), but shouldn't there be another doctor present, supervising, making sure he's doing the right thing? Or at least a nurse?!
Many OB/GYNS in Denmark are male, but it's actually a legal requirement, that you have to at least be offered to have a female nurse (or secretary) present during the examination!
Sorry you had to go through that, I can't imagine how humiliating and awful that would be, in a moment that's already very painful, but which should at least ensure you'd be treated respectfully and with care.
I hope birth could be more humane and treated with heart than treating it like an illness...i can't help feeling i was numbered, and being treated as i need to get it done and over with quick... The bored face on everyone at the hospital offended me as the birth of a human being not just mine, are mere boredom than the repeating miracle and mercy of God. But then again, there's reason people being people, and everywhere you turn arent exactly utopian making it heavenly like place for us to live in...God knows best...
Ps..i miss you becky, i hope you're doing well...i havent got the time to go through blog reading, but insyaAllah...soon. Virtual hugs and kisses!
I had a bad experience with male doctors in a gov't hospital in Malaysia also. We took our sister to the hospital to have a mole on her thigh checked and the doctor came in and just started pulling down her pants! No discussion, no compassion at all - and right in front of my husband and I! what an asshole! My husband yelled at him and I am glad because this man deserved it!
Anyway, I am so glad your labor was relatively short and your birth was quick and without complications (aside from the jerk for a doctor).
I look forward to knowing how you are doing hun. Post-partum can be tough and since I have had bouts of depression in the past I have been told when I get pregnant I will need to work closely with a doctor.
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