بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Salam,
If this would be my memoir, this would be the chapter where i would say i can't listen to anyone right now. It would be a time where my brain would be screaming, 'i need silence!'. It used to be my escape, going online looking through materials, research, searching for knowledge. And right now, everything i get seems to be either too judgemental, or everyone trying to be smart about everything. yes. me included. Are we conforming to the culture of stating our minds out? i don't know. i'm just rambling on top of my head now. I honestly could not go online, without preparing myself mentally, that i have to be compliance about everything i read. Accepting without effecting my judgement. Trying to furqan (differentiate) in my own mind, how everything in the world is working. I'm not trying to understand how it works, just trying to practice how accepting i am to all these ideas.
Day by day...all i'm reading is one judging after another, its either one is judging someone who is judging. or one judging someone who is not doing as he/she understands it. yup, another human irony. Me, if you're reading this again...i think it is about time, you cut all this nonsense and get the Quran out. Pray to Almighty that He protects you and your liberty to think, because its either we're 'ATTACHED' to culture conformity or we're just to dumb to be aware of our own capability to think. Everytime you take another person opinion, its either you're braindead or ....huh...i blanked.
I'm not sure it is because i have nothing to say, or everything had become such a petty matter. Its not that i'm letting things go, or running out of idea to vent out...probably because i'm just aware how noisy my brains are when i am. And recently, all i wanted to do is go away, (not literally) just my brain...in silence. Like just one whole day of silence. That would surely be nice....
I've had enough i guess, opinions, and opinions...it is about time i learn to keep my opinions to myself so i don't feel the need to conform anymore. Language has often time and time again mistranslated, misintreprated that we (as in, I) forgot to rely on all my senses. Spiritual and faith are not meant to be shared to avoid having to conform. Or else, it would just be the same kind of deal of those who are trying to make RULES out of everything. The thing about conforming, we're not always aware of it. So my faith and my opinions on my spiritual matter had become a private thing. This is a personal choice, please don't conform to what i am doing.
"Quran 6:116"
yup..another wednesday rambling...*sigh* much better...
p/s: its ironic having a blog when we're trying to make everything we think private, -shut up brain!
Love+Peace,
H
3 comments:
Salam Hajar,
I can relate to how you feel, I too have to remind myself at times that just because I respect another person's opinion, doesn't mean I have to agree. This sometimes means having to take a "time-out", to stay grounded in what I believe - or to further study and think about an issue to figure out how I feel about it, and if I ought to change my opinion.
Salam Becky,
Its good to know that i'm not alone in this kind of thing. So many opinions at time, i just feel like biting my lips to keep with my sanity. Yes, belief and faith has a very distinct difference, where faith speaks a lot about sureness. Its very dangerous going around reading a lot of
spiritual believes without having a concrete stand of faith, or sureness...or at the end of the day we'll be wobbling around on every reasoning out there. May God help us to be steadfast in our journey with a strong faith in our selves.
So true, so so very true. I agree with what you both are saying.
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