Believe:Faith

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

salam,

Last week was a week of agitation for me. A lot of confusion, annoyance, mood swings *i blame it on PMS*. It got to do with so many sources and contradiction, that involves personal opinion of spiritual matter. Faith is a very subjective thing, i might say. Yes, no one could tell us where we stand between us and the Higher Power, nor can we explain clearly without getting misunderstood most of time. So, most opinions out there, truly is a proof of many type of faith there is for many different walk of life around the Globe.

Seeking knowledge, and seeking for truth is something like seeking our own self. At times, we can't tell who we really are untill a third person points out something that we fail to notice. And no, it does not only happen to conceited people. Once, my friend told me a good point about coaching. "why do you think top soccer player, top race car driver, top golfer, who is obviously good at what they are doing, would need a coach for?"-to point out what these top sports man, could not see...themselves, of course. Interesting. True, we have faith in our heart. Although i'm not sure it means that we're free to look for answer within our own assumption. Of course it is possible to think that your right 'swing' was great, but it is also possible you missed to know that we could do about our body angle. My point is, we could make a decision base on our intuition and instinct, but it could be possible that our options might be limited for something better because we don't know better. Especially from what we read from the Quran.

Probably its the culture of google, that every question that we seek is only a click away, and we usually are quick to make wikipedia as our 'legit' sources. Not for Quran, for any fact. Quick in believing may not reflect quick in faith although, many find similarity between believe and faith. You can tell me that i.e: quantum physics is a relation between spiritual and science, and i could believe you. But i'm still far of faithful (sure) to that theory. It is not that i don't believe it, nor to say i don't buy the idea. I can read 1000 facts, but i couldnt be too sure about it. I didn't live through it to know it in my heart and say that 'i guarantee it' i.e 2: i have faith that God test all of us, for our own good so that we could be the best that we could be, usually we fall short in expecting our capability. Truly, He won't taste those who can handle the burden, He made us...He knows how weak (or strong) we are. That, i have faith. Since i went through it to understand it, to get the time to Furqan (differentiate it) the whole and feel it in my heart, and my senses. Maybe in a few years, my faith grow, WallahuAlam.

How is it justice for us to assume on something that is bigger than our life? Longer than our history, beyond our imagination? If we had seen the whole of Kuala Lumpur for example, it does not mean we know CITIES. we could assume, but we know its not the same. My point is, There is no harm in going through different opinions and finding as many facts there is. Looking for the truth is not within a year or two, nor is it one time Quran reading from cover to cover: and claim that i finally know truth. Have you ever read a book, where everytime you read it, from any point of your life, it tends to speak in a different meaning. The words, the comma, the plot are still the same but it bring new meaning to you each time you read it. To me, Quran is like that but by far more layers and levels. How could we find the deeper meaning if we remain shallow ourselves? How can we be open the layers of the Message, when we can't open ourselves to many thoughts? We could say that we believe in this, and we believe in that. But how can we be sure that we have heard it all, see it all to differentiate it all for us to be sure about it. Not just believe, but have faith in it?

We can pray the Lord, for Him to still Faith and Sureness in our Heart. A sureness to our direction, and faith in his Guidance. As long as we have faith that our prayer and our devotion/pursue in knowledge towards truth is for nothing but Him, then surely there's all the books, and opinions in the world that we can listen, read...but its up to us to listen to ourselves if we only believe, or finally have faith.

"And Allah has extracted you from the wombs of your mothers not knowing a thing, and He made for you hearing and vision and intellect that perhaps you would be grateful." (Quran 16:78)

"And We have certainly created for Hell many of the jinn and mankind. They have hearts with which they do not understand, they have eyes with which they do not see, and they have ears with which they do not hear. Those are like livestock; rather, they are more astray. It is they who are the heedless."(Quran 7:179)

"Say, "It is He who has produced you and made for you hearing and vision and hearts; little are you grateful."" (Quran 67:23)

Love+Peace,

H