100th Post: Alhamdulillah

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

salam,

I am on my 100th post now, wow, MasyaAllah. I'm thankful for that. Which reminds me of how thankful i am right now, how recently i was offered a job that i couldn't refuse. I'm a graduate architect, with a RIBA and PAM, on my 2nd level. If i would to continue to my third, I would officially become a licensed architect, able to sign for design approval for the authority. Although, i gave up being finishing entirely, once i found out that i would rather become a mother than spends more time at home, then in the office. Architect's job required full dedication, from the initial design schematic proposal till the handing over of the building. That includes going every detail, from costing, from timing, client's satisfaction, supervising the contractor, have all the materials sorted out for every part of the building and etc. That kind of attention to detail needs more than 8 hours in the office. I was working as an architect before i got married. My job consist of finalizing the design, making presentations, presenting ideas, meeting clients/supplier/contractor/consultants, driving up and down sites (across the peninsular and coming back on the same day-our office didn't have the budget to fly us), coming back to the office and sorting out letters for the next meeting/presentation/site visits. I'll be coming home usually between 7pm-3am, grogging and wobbling before waking up at 6 AM to the office again. Passion are usually the drive for most architect to live like this throughout their entire life.

I continued working after i got married, and since i decided to give up on city life to live in Kampung, which is 40 minutes from Kuala Lumpur, I drove everyday back and thru across the state border. I tried my best to make sure i come home before 9, by the time i come home, my husband would be done with the laundry/dinner/housechores. He never complained though, although i know how hard his job is spending hours under the hot sun, building houses. He never mentioned anything about my job, just his worries everytime i drive 40 minutes across the highway at night. I always come home, exhausted and barely have time to spend time together. That is when i decided, if i would to have a baby, i would rather raise my own child than leaving my child for someone else to care for. I just couldn't imagine. I told my husband would he be okay if i quit my job (both our job barely meet the household budget per month) and blessed i am, he said he didn't mind at all. After an incident after visiting and having inspection on a residential site, which was a trip to the hospital because of a bleeding scare (the doctor suspected that i was pregnant at the time-and lost it), i see it as a sign for me to really quit my job. The job was stressing and exhausting my body too much, which made it not suitable to be pregnant.

I still do love architecture, and being an architect, although i have always plan to do more than just pleasing clients with design and building according to their budgets and ideas. Most architect tend to succumb to the clients needs and demand, while sacrificing the design analysis/design intentions/the ecology factor. At most time, my boss demands me to lie to please the client, which also a reason for me to leave the office. Working in an dishonest atmosphere for the sake of money was turning me off. When i left though, i did feel good, still i was worried about my household finance. I stayed home for about 2 months, caring the house, playing home maker- i love it! Then, i got a call from my ex collegue, inviting me to teach in of our local university. It takes only 2 days a week, and the pay is Alhamdulillah. Teaching also was a blessing, because i learn more from my student than they learn from me i think. I was not as experience as most of the professors there, but i promised to myself to share everything i know. I found out that i really love teaching. Being among the student, professors and fellow architects, i'm inspired to continue with my studies. My passion for mother nature,helped a lot with my design intentions since i was still a student. i might as well make good of my studies and to pursue something that i love.

A lot of people inspire me to write this thesis, especially all these green warriors that have been very sensitive to the human needs, being earth friendly while working with the technology in introducing a better architecture for mankind and nature. I proceed with my own research, putting together a thesis report and showing them to a few of my friends. Alhamdulillah, with the support and help, a friend introduced me to his professor friend who was interested reading my thesis proposal. That leads me to sending them to some of friends and asking their opinions and advice. A friend of mine, and an inspiring tree hugger and an architect who read my proposal recently just offered me a job which i couldn't refuse. Which is to assist him with his current project. He is very interested to know more about my thesis and mentioned that, we could try and implement the idea with the project. MasyaAllah, having a working thesis and a prototype is more than i could ask for. I'm not too sure how does the thesis would be imply in the project, but the fact that he's offering me a job with him, which requires me to work from home (with an occasional visit to the office-once in 1-2 week) is an opportunity for me to continue with architecture. This time, insyaAllah for the best of human kind and mother nature. 

I'm trying not to get it over my head, and have too high of an expectation, i am not going to bother getting all excited. I am happy of course, even just by the offer, that i would love to take this moment a step at a time. I am just grateful that i've been blessed with a career while having the opportunity to have a balance and time to be with my family. It is more than a mother could ask for. To me, this is Rezeki (Blessing), which does not always come in paper form. I could be pursuing for a high income career but i could not be sure if i would be as content as i am right now. We're still struggling at times, but i somehow learn that it really keeps us grounded. It made us appreciate how blessed we are, everytime we can still afford on putting food on our table. Alhamdulillah for our blessings. Thank You. What are you Thankful for?

Love+Peace,

H