Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Been thinking a lot about death: not in a morbid way.


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Its a bit stranger than usual, because although i always think of death it has never been this 'long'. I started to think of death since last week...i asked death related question to my husband, hoping that he can get prepare of thinking the possibility if i can't be around soon. I was telling him that it is the sad on his case too, would i be prepared if he could not share the rest of my life with me. Everytime i think of death, i just feel selfish...wanting the easy way out, because i have never been so sure that dying is a better place.
Although, its not that i hate my life now, i love it. I have a great mother, crazy funny family that cheers me up all the time (also the 'crazy' sometimes drive me up the wall-but i find it normal with every family), I have a tender hearted husband who had teaches me a lot about being patients and accepting, i have a smart also tender hearted step son which i'm so blessed because i always wanted to become a mother. Alhamdulillah, God gave me a great life...and i somehow feel like my time is almost up...On contrary, with everyone...we all don't know when our time is, and the possibilities could just be a second away.
The weird thing is, i've been hearing death like good news. Everytime someone passed away, i keep saying 'Oh he/she is safe now. They're safe'...which i find i should refrain myself from saying outloud fearing i might offend those that is left behind. Is it just me, or any of you have ever thought of death that way? I don't call it a departing, only an arrival. and we are all left behind. Tell me what you think...
p/s: reading RUMI missing his Beloved, i wonder how he feels on his death bed...finally 'meeting' his Beloved

Love+Peace,
H

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