Where the Heart IS

Bismillahirahmannirarhim

"…they have hearts wherewith they fail to comprehend, and eyes wherewith they fail to see, and ears wherewith they fail to hear….Such (humans) are far astray from the right path. (Qur'an 7:179).

Salam,

I had an interesting conversation with two most beautiful human being to whom i'm honored to be acquanted to. Alhamdulillah, MasyaAllah. Most of the times, we shared deep religious, philosophical, spiritual, social (or what people call-serious) conversation and share thoughts and knowledge through our own journey of life. We talk about fear and love. Where we put ourselves with our Creator, and what the relationship we put between the connection. I always believed the best thing we can offer in relationship, between parents, siblings, relatives and friend is love. How can you build a relationship in fear? respect? do you want to respect you out of fear? or love the person and you would want to respect and accept for who/what he is? because only beyond love that you could achieve, faith, sincerity, loyaly, respect, care, cherish, appreciate...forgive me if my opinion creates doubt. Think about this scenario, a relationship between a mother and a child. I love my mother dearly, its just heartless to hate someone that bear you out of oneself. and its only right that i avoid ever hurting her, avoid harming her in any sorts of way. You LOVE. To appreciate someone you love, you put youself in a selfless way to share that feeling. You offer what they would appreciate. For example; my mother loves cow print (she does! hehe) so, for her birthday once,i look for a cowprint tea set. Its hilariously cute, but i know she loves it. I wouldnt want to go out and get her 'i so rock' mug just because i would like to have it...its what SHE loves, not what YOU love. Its a form of giving in the person you love's condition.

And when i have found to realise and see how my feeling grew for my Creator, i found out that it all this while...growing up, i always FEAR Him. My childhood imagination have always been this raging mad GOD ready to kill me in HELL whenever i screw up, or whenever i'm told i screwed up. Its beyond belief that how it changes how i felt i truly LOVE HIM. My father was not the best father one could imagine, but he's really not that bad. Most times, i know he's just misunderstood. but at that time, i didn't understand his mistakes. So, when this image of most people around you hates this specific person, you would feel that he MUST be the most horibble people ever...and at that point, i believed he was. You see, Muslim belief that Friday is the holiest day of the week, (Dying on a Friday “Whoever dies on a Friday, Allah prevents him from the grave trial” (Ahmed and Turmithi). I could never my father would get that kind of privelage, but he did. All i could think of is, he had probably had done something right that Allah has given this blessing. And Allah sure had forgiven him somewhere somehow, Wallahualam. and if GOD, the superior of superior could accept my father's apology at any given time, why can't i? who am i? How Forgiving can you get? I was so overwhelmed by that feeling that i couldn't feel any other way but LOVE.

The concept of HELL and SIN does not matter to me, because i know i am a sinner (intentionally or not) and its hard to grasp on the idea of being worthy to set foot in Janna (Heaven). It didn't matter, because i would try my Best to please my Creator by being my best to follow His conditions. He knows how 'weak' we are, "Allah doth wish to lighten your (difficulties): For man was created Weak (in flesh)" Quran 4:28) I just see myself, not hating myself for the mistakes but having faith of God in giving you the chance to be a better person. I don't know how many countless times that i fear the judgement of a person on how i carry myself, completely oblivious to what is God's judgement. I had fear being seen as a sinner than being a sinner itself. I also keep doing something out of fear, of punishment and what would become of me by making the mistake. As to when i LOVE, you are at the point of being selfless, that you just want to please the LOVE so much it didn't matter what your condition is.

Its hard to put away what is natural. What i meant by NATURAL is your pure state. Like when a child is born in this world, pure-innocent, how the people describe as angelic. A heavenly discription of a human being. When a wind blow, water flows, fire burn, earth grows...You ask yourself what is natural to human? where is your heart? LOVE and HEART is one. LOVE is what is the purest condition in a heart. It is so pure that it does not get tainted, fades off, or moved. Find your heart, and see what is closest to your heart, in your vains within your blood. in fact, what is the closest thing that is within every living thing that you know exist...

" Its beautiful what comes through you...but its a shame that you're always in the way" - a very observing man

Love+Peace,

H